"I Am ... But ..." — The most self-sabotaging phrase we can use!
Most of us don't realize our self-talk becomes instructions to our subconscious, which carries out the ‘orders’ given to it by our conscious mind. And if those instructions are negatively-charged, we get negative results.
Essentially, we program negativity into our lives as a result of our negative thinking, which generally creates negative choices, which lead to negatively-charged actions.
Most of us are constantly bombarded with this self-imposed mental clutter. We talk to ourselves all day long and, unfortunately, this self-censorship is often tainted with guilt about our past or anxiety about our future. This negativity can destroy any seed of hope that we may otherwise have in striving for our dreams.
Here are examples of what negative self-talk sounds like.
Time for a self-check! See if you’ve ever talked to yourself this way (or something similar ... you'll get the drift!):
- I’m capable, but I never seem to get noticed.
- I know who I am, but I still doubt myself too much.
- I wish I was smarter, but I didn’t inherit the right genes.
- I choose to be present in all I do, but I feel like I’m still behind the eight ball.
- I know I should move on, but I don’t believe I can ever love again.
- I try to stay positive, but there’s always a dark cloud hanging over me.
- I believe Truth principles work, but they don’t seem to work for me.
Notice the defining word in each of those sentences: BUT. When we keep ‘butting’ ourselves, our ‘buts’ become “instructions” to our subconscious, which works tirelessly to ensure these ‘instructions’ become our reality. So, we encourage you to stay to the left of but.
And here’s what that looks like:
- I’m capable.
- I know who I am.
- I wish I was smarter.
- I choose to be present in all I do.
- I know I should move on.
- I try to stay positive.
- I believe Truth principles work.
Edit out the wimpy voices and phrases that disempower you. Censor thinking that vetoes your self-worth. Ban thoughts that deny your innate divinity. What we’re suggesting is: Eliminate what Zig Ziglar called 'stinking thinking.' Stay to the left of but!
One of the greatest enemies of your spiritual growth and human happiness is self-rejection, because it contradicts your Inner Voice that says “I am worthy. I am Divine. I am Extraordinary!”
Photo 26441085 / Face © Tracy King | Dreamstime.com
Staying to the left of ‘buts’ is like staying out of mud puddles.
If you’re stuck in a mud puddle, it means there’s higher ground all around you. All you have to do is find higher ground. And staying to the left of ‘buts’ is higher ground.
Here's the science behind self-talk.
How we see ourselves and what we say about ourselves is based on what social scientists call a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy.’ You’re no doubt familiar with it. 20th-century sociologist Robert Merton was the one who coined the term ‘self-fulfilling prophecy.’
It means that we react or respond to what’s ‘out there’ based on our perceptions of what we believe to be real. AND we make judgments based on the meanings we attach to our experiences, rather than the experiences themselves. And self-talk is a direct result of the meaning we attribute to our self-worth.
Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, studies the ways people explain the positive and negative events in their lives.
He has found that pessimists form world views around negative events and explain away anything good that happens to them. Optimists tend to distance themselves from negative events and embrace the positive.
He emphasizes how we need the skills of optimistic and pessimistic thinking—using what he calls "Flexible Optimism."
Poster: CherHolton
Tips to Help You Stay to the Left of But
ID 190910165 © PX_Media | Dreamstime.com
Back up the Power of Positive Thinking with the Power Of Possibility Thinking.
Have you ever used positive thinking, forcing yourself to say affirmations and think positive thoughts, only to have alarm signals go off in your head, shouting "Liar!"? You know what we mean ... and you are not alone! Research has found that when you’re down and out and force yourself to say positive things to yourself, you may end up feeling worse.
Here’s the thing. Possibility thinking doesn’t actually activate an internal ‘lie detector.’ In fact, it puts things in a believable context. It softens the distance between how you really feel about yourself and what is possible.
So, don’t let your ‘buts’ pollute your present or your future. Choose words that inspire you, motivate you, make you laugh, and boost your morale. Create affirmations that reflect a believable possibility in your mind -- something you believe is within your reach. "I have the answers to make this work!" "I love what I do and I do it really well!"
Your actions are inspired by your thoughts. If you can change the way you think, you can begin to change the actions you take. So, remove negative and pejorative terms from your self-talk. Keep your inner critic in its place.
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Give your Inner Critic a Name.
Preferably a silly one! It’s hard to take that negative inner voice seriously when you call it The Nag. (“Here comes The Nag again.”) That’s what Seligman calls it. Brené Brown, PhD, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work and author of The Gifts Of Imperfection, calls hers ‘The Gremlin.’ Julia Cameron, in Artist's Way, calls her Inner Critic Nigel, and sees it as a flamboyant British designer! (Realize you may have a whole cast of inner critics-- give each one the name they deserve! Then tell them to "Exit, Stage Left!)
Photo: dreamstimelarge_93595118
Align Your Human Self with your Divine Nature.
Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of the possible you into the roaring flames of self-worth and achievement as you align your human self with your Divine Nature. Make your life a Spiritual Practice by regularly making time for meditation, reflection, and selfcare. And there’s no ‘but’ in that statement!
Photo: dreamstimefree_5564821
Positively, Absolutely, Stay to the Left of But.
Become consciously aware of what you are saying, and when you catch yourself saying but — just stop — immediately — and listen to the Truth of who you really are, as you walk the spiritual path on positive, practical, prosperous feet!
We're Revs. Drs. Bil & Cher Holton -- and prefer you just call us Bil and Cher! Our passion is creating a safe space where folks who choose to be more spiritual than religious can come together to search, share, question, and grow! We combine a flair for the dramatic, a deep understanding of MetaSpiritual teachings, an ability to think outside the box, and a knack for bringing scientific research and spiritual practices to life in practical ways! Combining Evidence-based Science, Faith-based Spirituality, Metaphor-based Metaphysics, and Experience-based Psychic Phenomena is at the heart of Unity Center for YOUniversal Prosperity (ucfyp.org).
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